Bumped

Written by Megan McCafferty

Goodreads Synopsis: When a virus makes everyone over the age of 18 infertile, would-be parents pay teen girls to conceive and give birth to their children, making teens the most prized members of society. Girls sport fake baby bumps and the school cafeteria stocks folic-acid-infused food. 
Sixteen-year-old identical twins Melody and Harmony were separated at birth and have never met until the day Harmony shows up on Melody's doorstep. Up to now, the twins have followed completely opposite paths. Melody has scored an enviable conception contract with a couple called the Jaydens. While they are searching for the perfect partner for Melody to bump with, she is fighting her attraction to her best friend, Zen, who is way too short for the job. Harmony has spent her whole life in Goodside, a religious community, preparing to be a wife and mother. She believes her calling is to convince Melody that pregging for profit is a sin. But Harmony has secrets of her own that she's running from.
When Melody is finally matched with the world-famous, genetically flawless Jondoe, both girls' lives are changed forever. A case of mistaken identity takes them on a journey neither could have ever imagined, and that makes Melody and Harmony realize they have so much more than just DNA in common.

My Confession: I'm going to make this short and sweet: no. Just no. And I'm so disappointed. I'm still struggling to comprehend that the woman who wrote the Jessica Darling series, a 5-book phenom that pretty much taught my angsty adolescent self everything I needed to know about life, could also write this thing. And I know I sound awful and harsh, but this story was just terribly flat. I should have known when I opened the first page and discovered the twins were named Melody and Harmony. Now, this could have been ironic and sarcastic, but it just wasn't. The story reeked of corny, and I just didn't buy that this kind of society would exist in 25 years. There was something weird and wrong in imaging teen girls getting paid to have sex and then give away their babies. Melody is wishy-washy at best; even by the end of the book, I had no idea who she was or what she really wanted. Her relationship with Zen had a lot of potential, but that too was under-utilized. His height (5'7'' which, if I'm not mistaken, doesn't make for an obscenely short man) seemed to be the only thing I knew about his character. And when [SPOILER ALERT!] he and Melody kiss at the end, I wasn't buying it. Neither of them seemed remotely attracted to the other. There's no Romeo and Juliet thing going on here, no deep attraction that's forbidden because of Melody's contract. She never even seems to contemplate what "bumping" with Zen would be like. That whole plot line just never appeared. Zen's presence ended up feeling convenient, a hook to get me to read the story. Not cool.

And Harmony? Far from some Bible-thumping freak. She too had zero personality, and her big "secret?" My Lord, it was lame. Flat, flat, flat. The twin sisters are portrayed as not being able to stand one another, and for the duration of the entire book, they're actually in the same room together once or twice. We hear both their voices, but we never actually watch them interact and grow together. By the end, I didn't see what they shared besides DNA. As far as I'm concerned, that is all they shared. And the big identity-mix-up plot twist? So predictable, I should have bet my life savings on it. I hate knowing where a book is headed before it begins, and I hate even more when that predictable plot does absolutely nothing for the story. I already knew what was going to happen. And I kept thinking how many different avenues this story could have gone down and actually portrayed a creepy-yet-possible future. But it never did.

Recommendation: If you haven't, don't. Megan McCafferty's pride and joy rests in the Jessica Darling series. Read those, I beg of you. I may have to just to wash the sour taste of this novel from my mouth.

Rating: 1/5

323 pages, published by Balzer + Bray (April 26, 2011)

Impossible

Written by Nancy Werlin

Goodreads Synopsis: Lucy has nine months to break an ancient curse in order to save both herself and her unborn daughter.
Lucy is seventeen when she discovers that the women of her family have been cursed through the generations, forced to attempt three seemingly impossible tasks or fall into madness upon their child's birth. But Lucy is the first girl who won't be alone as she tackles the list. She has her fiercely protective foster parents and her childhood friend Zach beside her. Do they have enough love and strength to overcome an age-old evil?

My Confession: This is another example of a book I picked up because the cover intrigued me. But the plot synopsis intrigued me even more--an entire novel based around a song? An old Simon and Garfunkel song, no less. Scarborough Fair's lyrics, when listened to closely, actually do tell the tale of three seemingly impossible tasks--tasks that don't seem feasible for a human to complete. Using this song as the cornerstone of this story was an extremely original and fascinating idea, one that ends up working really well. Listen to the song below and read over the lyrics--the "tasks" are italicized.

Lyrics:
Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine
Tell her to make me a cambric shirt
(On the side of a hill in the deep forest green)
Parsely, sage, rosemary & thyme
(Tracing a sparrow on snow-crested ground)
Without no seams nor needlework
(Blankets and bedclothes a child of the mountains)
Then she'll be a true love of mine
(Sleeps unaware of the clarion call)
Tell her to find me an acre of land
(On the side of a hill, a sprinkling of leaves)
Parsely, sage, rosemary, & thyme
(Washed is the ground with so many tears)
Between the salt water and the sea strand
(A soldier cleans and polishes a gun)
Then she'll be a true love of mine
Tell her to reap it in a sickle of leather
(War bellows, blazing in scarlet battalions)
Parsely, sage, rosemary & thyme
(Generals order their soldiers to kill)
And to gather it all in a bunch of heather
(And to fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten)
Then she'll be a true love of mine
Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine


Recommendation: This, very quickly, became one of my favorite books. It's just so interesting. And suspenseful. There's the realm of reality, where Lucy and Zach are normal teenagers stumbling through their growing feelings for each other, and then there's the fantastical element, where Lucy is raped by a demon who is hell-bent on cursing every woman in her family. Once pregnant, Lucy has nine months to solve the "riddle" in the Scarborough Fair song, or else risk falling into madness like her mother and grandmother before her. There's a real quick pacing to the story, and the way these tasks unravel, and the way Lucy attempts to solve them, is truly imaginative and remarkable. Regardless of the mystical elements, everything feels very real. You can't help but root for Lucy while also worrying that perhaps those tasks really are impossible. But the lesson Werlin weaves throughout about love, and strength in numbers, makes this a must-read.


Rating: 4/5


384 pages, published by Penguin (Sept. 18, 2008)