Between Here and Forever

Written by Elizabeth Scott

Goodreads Synopsis: Abby accepted that she can't measure up to her beautiful, magnetic sister Tess a long time ago, and knows exactly what she is: second-best. Invisible.
Until the accident.
Now Tess is in a coma, and Abby's life is on hold. It may have been hard living with Tess, but it's nothing compared to living without her.
She's got a plan to bring Tess back though, involving the gorgeous and mysterious Eli, but then Abby learns something about Tess, something that was always there, but that she'd never seen. Abby is about to find out that truth isn't always what you think it is, and that life holds more than she ever thought it could....

My Confession: I was pleasantly surprised by this story. My initial worry was that Abby would turn out painfully one-dimensional, obsessed with her sister and her own perception of inadequacy. But to Scott's credit, she paints a pretty sympathetic picture of a "golden girl," who has everyone wrapped around her finger. Tess, in the snippets we see from Abby's memory, is not a likable person--she's horribly mean and condescending to her younger sister. She's filled with rage while at home with Abby and their parents, but turns on the charm when others are around, causing a warped and false image of Tess' true personality.

Abby does more than live in her sister's shadow--she's swallowed by it. The chip on her shoulder has been earned; she's had painful reminders her entire life that she's not Tess, and never will be. She's been looked-over and picked second one too many times. When she meets Eli, she's so brainwashed into thinking he'll automatically want Tess, she sabotages her own chances at happiness without realizing it. I have to give props to Scott--she really kept the theme consistent, and Abby never wavered in her mentality. Her character was defined and steady, and as much as I wanted to shake her, I felt like she was a real person. As was Eli, a physically beautiful boy with flaws of his own.

Recommendation: The writing was really simplistic and wonderful here. When I closed the back cover, my first thought was of how well-written the entire story had been. Not once did I think Abby was too whiny, or Eli's perfection too improbable. And I never expected Tess' secret to be what it was. It took me off-guard and forced me to revisit the beginning half of the story with new eyes. And that's always a good thing. Unpredictable with growth. All in all, a pretty solid and worthwhile read.

Rating: 4/5

250 pages, published by Simon Pulse (May 24, 2011)

Thirteen Reasons Why

Written by Jay Asher

Synopsis: You can't stop the future. You can't rewind the past. The only way to learn the secret...is to press play.
Clay Jensen doesn't want anything to do with the tapes Hannah Baker made. Hannah is dead. Her secrets should be buried with her.
Then Hannah's voice tells Clay that his name is on her tapes--and that he is, in some way, responsible for her death.
All through the night, Clay keeps listening. He follows Hannah's recorded words throughout his small town...
...and what he discovers changes his life forever.

My Confession: I assumed this book was going to be heavy as soon as I picked it up. The back cover does a pretty good job summarizing that no matter what else you learn from the almost-300-page novel, a girl killed herself. That's a plot point that cannot be undone. No matter how attached you become to her character, no matter how sympathetic you feel toward her situation, she's still dead. Nothing changes that.

I didn't foresee this as a problem. Okay, so the girl's dead. No big, right? That's the whole point of a story--it's not real. Curiosity made me pick this up, and even though the subject surpassed morbid, I felt like I could keep a healthy barrier between myself and the story that was about to unfold before me.

Wrong.

Numerous times I felt myself biting back moments of pure rage. Moments where, like the main character Clay--who's forced to listen to the tapes even though he cared greatly about Hannah--I wanted to stuff my fist in my mouth and scream against the barrier. The "thirteen reasons" Hannah purposefully overdoses on pills never feels justified, but I sure as hell felt her pain. And I almost understood why she did it. Almost.

Talk it out: There's a lot to be learned from a book like this. Nowhere is teenage life glorified. Parties are the smelly, sweaty, uncomfortable, claustrophobic spaces we all remember from adolescence but choose to remember as the "glory days." The bubbly, pretty, popular girls are represented as the fake, condescending, image-obsessed people they are. Hannah takes the mystique and sheen off the pretty high school picture painted by the ignorant, those who choose to believe everything they see and hear at face value. In the end, rumors killed Hannah Baker. And while I still walk away from this desperately wanting her to choose differently, her suicide was the only way to make this story pack the powerful punch it did. I dare someone to not feel something after reading this. No teenager could, or should, be the same after reading this. Maybe, in real life, people will be able to identify the warning signs sooner than those around Hannah were able to. Maybe this book can save a few lives, if only by allowing people to hear Hannah's story.

Recommendation: Have I ever thought seriously about suicide? No. Have I ever felt that no one around me gave a shit about whether I lived or died? Yes. But this book shows how a no to the first question can turn to a yes. I was never truly in danger of that happening to me, which is perhaps why a small barrier remains between myself and the heart of this story. I cannot comprehend that suicide is the right answer, ever. Nothing in life can ever be that bad. And even though we, as readers, learn Hannah's motives, and sympathize with the events that led her to such a final act, my hope is that more readers than not find Hannah's actions terrible. An act that they themselves could never foresee turning to.

I was bullied. I know how alone you can feel. Like you're the only person in a room full of crowded people who know each other, but can't--and won't--spare you a second glance. Use this book to keep an eye out for people on the fringe, people who seem okay, but your gut tells you something's wrong. If anything, read this book because it's real. And terrifying. And sad. Read it because it can teach you something. Read it because the next time you see someone with their head hanging low, you have the chance to save their life. All Hannah needed was someone to believe in. She finds it in Clay, but only after she's convinced herself that dying is her only option. Be someone's Clay.

Listen to Hannah's thirteen tapes here.

If you, or anyone you know is thinking or talking about suicide, go here. There's help out there. Don't let what happened to Hannah happen to you or someone you love.

Rating: 4.5/5

288 pages, published by Razorbill (Oct. 18, 2007)