The D.U.F.F.

Written by Kody Keplinger

Goodreads Synopsis: Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn't think she's the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She's also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her "the Duff," she throws her Coke in his face.
But things aren't so great at home right now, and Bianca is desperate for a distraction. She ends up kissing Wesley. Worse, she likes it. Eager for escape, Bianca throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with him.
Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out Wesley isn't such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she's falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.

My Confession: I think I decided to buy this book because the title was so in-your-face. I mean, "Designated Ugly Fat Friend," really? My finger was poised over my Nook--I was just looking for a quick, fun read. I wasn't totally in the mood for a story that was going to "teach me a lesson" about body love. But then I realized how many times I identified as a DUFF, and I pressed "purchase." Yes, Barnes & Noble, I'm okay with you charging my credit card $7.99 for this ebook. I want to read what this brave teenager (yes, the author is a teenager) has to say about this topic.

Okay, so who hasn't felt like the ugly, fat one in their group of friends? If you haven't, then you can stop reading here. Because I have--almost every day of my twenty-three year existence. And I can count on one hand how many times I've read a character like this--someone simultaneously smart, sassy, and completely uncomfortable in their own skin because of what society perceives as "pretty." And not once have I ever believed that a legitimately attractive male would fall for someone with a little junk in the trunk. But I believed Wesley's genuine affection for Bianca, not because of what she looked like, but what she brought out in him. In never trying to please Wesley, Bianca is herself--she doesn't worry about her body or image. And in doing so, she finds a peace within herself and everything she has to offer. I think it adds a little truth to the adage that you can never love someone without truly loving yourself first. In many ways, I don't think you can ever be truly loved until you love yourself enough to show all of yourself to that person, until you realize you have nothing to hide. That's how Wesley and Bianca fall in love with each other's true self. And that's why it feels so real. Wesley never really loses his edge, and Bianca never really loses that cynicism, but they find a way to soften the other.

But I think this can be more than a feel-good story for girls who have always felt marginalized for not fitting into a size 2. I was really impressed with the eighteen-year-old author's concept of storytelling and building character. A lot of this book was very believable, and Bianca's voice was strong and consistent. There were a few points where I winced or grimaced, mainly in the moments when Bianca equates Wesley to a drug, the way she uses him to avoid facing her home issues. I get where the author was trying to go with this--I just don't think it totally got there.

Recommendation: This was a really cute read and a page-turner in its own way. The characters are three-dimensional and I really enjoyed reading a truly relatable female voice, someone who wasn't at the top of the high school food chain. Bianca's not a blonde, perky cheerleader (even though one of her best friends is); she doesn't have "tragic beauty" that she just doesn't realize. She's 100% normal, American teenager who is just trying to survive adolescence. Her uber-popular friends really love her, and it was utterly refreshing to read about how perception really is reality. And a little self-love and confidence never hurt anyone.

Rating: 3.5/5

280 pages, published by Poppy (Sept. 7, 2010)

Wake

Written by Abria Mattina

Goodreads Synopsis: Eighteen isn't too young to run your life into the ground, but it's not too old to fix it, either. The desire for change drives Willa Kirk from St. John's, Newfoundland back to her hometown of Smiths Falls, Ontario, away from her mistakes and the place where her sister died. She's looking for a place to settle and rebuild, but Jem Harper just wants to get out of town, back to the life he knew before cancer. By letting the tragedies in their lives define them, they are both dying a little more every day. Welcome to the wake.

My Confession: So, this is a first, Book Nookers. My first requested review. I had the privilege of meeting Abria when we roomed together (along with two other girls) during my six weeks in New York at NYU. The longest conversations we'd have, crowded around the small kitchen table (there was no living room in our dorm apartments...odd) were about the books we'd written (Abria) and the books we'd almost finished writing (me). I watched her fiddling with her Kindle all the time, and a few weeks ago, I found out why: she self-published Wake, her first novel, as an e-book through Amazon. I'm still warming up to my Nook, but wanted to read this book. From the synopsis, I wasn't really sure what the book was about. Once I started, though, I knew almost instantly where it was going to go.

Wake reminded me quite a bit of Keith, a short story written by Ron Carlson about a cancer-stricken boy who befriends the most popular girl in school, bonding with her over little stupid stuff until the two eventually fall in love. I liked Keith so much, I adapted it into a screenplay for a Screenwriting class I took in college. Wake feels like a full-length version of this short story. Jem is recovering from cancer, and Willa is running from what cancer stole from her. They're thrown together as partners in a Home Ec class, and while they, at first, can't stand each other, they realize rather quickly the important aspects the other brings to their life. I really enjoyed how the story was told from both perspectives, sometimes the same events overlapping for both Jem and Willa. I felt like I really got the chance to know both of them as characters: what they were thinking, how they really felt, what they didn't want the other person to know. It was so awesome to see the same events two different ways; their voices felt so accurate and realistic. The book isn't short, and the length really lets the reader grow more comfortable with Jem and Willa; I felt like I knew them. I grew quickly attached to their relationship and loved the little, unique quirks that made the dialogue pop. I haven't read these characters before, and for that, I give Abria lots of credit.

If I'm going to harp on one thing about this book (and since it's an e-book, I'm still not convinced myself that it matters) it would be the cover. Don't love it. And while I get it, and having read the book, I know where it comes from, I don't think it accurately portrays the story inside. I picture something with a little more color, a little something extra. I actually pictured something like a girl's hand on a boy's chest, covering a catheter (a sore spot for Jem throughout the novel). When I say I went into this book completely blind about the plotline, I mean blind. The cover, title, and synopsis didn't really clue me in. Now having read it, I can see where they work, but I'm still not totally buying it. Now, as an e-book, does the cover totally matter? Not really. But this story's quality lends me to think that I could very well see this on the shelves someday. So maybe just a little something to think about. This book needs--and deserves--every  possible chance for success.

Recommendation: For $3.99, you're not going to find a more worthwhile e-book. It's so well written, and I found myself being mesmerized by the language almost as much as I was drawn in by the story itself. Abria initially warned me that this would be "morbid" book, but I'm not convinced. Sure, the subject matter isn't always super-uplifting, but I don't know about you--books without conflict and struggle just don't ring authentic enough to bother reading. And while you won't be finished in a day, this is the kind of novel that will stick with you. I started reading it at work and had an extremely difficult time putting it down. I'm truly impressed, and I can't wait to read what she comes up with next.

Buy Wake on Amazon here!

Rating: 4.5/5

Thirteen Reasons Why

Written by Jay Asher

Synopsis: You can't stop the future. You can't rewind the past. The only way to learn the secret...is to press play.
Clay Jensen doesn't want anything to do with the tapes Hannah Baker made. Hannah is dead. Her secrets should be buried with her.
Then Hannah's voice tells Clay that his name is on her tapes--and that he is, in some way, responsible for her death.
All through the night, Clay keeps listening. He follows Hannah's recorded words throughout his small town...
...and what he discovers changes his life forever.

My Confession: I assumed this book was going to be heavy as soon as I picked it up. The back cover does a pretty good job summarizing that no matter what else you learn from the almost-300-page novel, a girl killed herself. That's a plot point that cannot be undone. No matter how attached you become to her character, no matter how sympathetic you feel toward her situation, she's still dead. Nothing changes that.

I didn't foresee this as a problem. Okay, so the girl's dead. No big, right? That's the whole point of a story--it's not real. Curiosity made me pick this up, and even though the subject surpassed morbid, I felt like I could keep a healthy barrier between myself and the story that was about to unfold before me.

Wrong.

Numerous times I felt myself biting back moments of pure rage. Moments where, like the main character Clay--who's forced to listen to the tapes even though he cared greatly about Hannah--I wanted to stuff my fist in my mouth and scream against the barrier. The "thirteen reasons" Hannah purposefully overdoses on pills never feels justified, but I sure as hell felt her pain. And I almost understood why she did it. Almost.

Talk it out: There's a lot to be learned from a book like this. Nowhere is teenage life glorified. Parties are the smelly, sweaty, uncomfortable, claustrophobic spaces we all remember from adolescence but choose to remember as the "glory days." The bubbly, pretty, popular girls are represented as the fake, condescending, image-obsessed people they are. Hannah takes the mystique and sheen off the pretty high school picture painted by the ignorant, those who choose to believe everything they see and hear at face value. In the end, rumors killed Hannah Baker. And while I still walk away from this desperately wanting her to choose differently, her suicide was the only way to make this story pack the powerful punch it did. I dare someone to not feel something after reading this. No teenager could, or should, be the same after reading this. Maybe, in real life, people will be able to identify the warning signs sooner than those around Hannah were able to. Maybe this book can save a few lives, if only by allowing people to hear Hannah's story.

Recommendation: Have I ever thought seriously about suicide? No. Have I ever felt that no one around me gave a shit about whether I lived or died? Yes. But this book shows how a no to the first question can turn to a yes. I was never truly in danger of that happening to me, which is perhaps why a small barrier remains between myself and the heart of this story. I cannot comprehend that suicide is the right answer, ever. Nothing in life can ever be that bad. And even though we, as readers, learn Hannah's motives, and sympathize with the events that led her to such a final act, my hope is that more readers than not find Hannah's actions terrible. An act that they themselves could never foresee turning to.

I was bullied. I know how alone you can feel. Like you're the only person in a room full of crowded people who know each other, but can't--and won't--spare you a second glance. Use this book to keep an eye out for people on the fringe, people who seem okay, but your gut tells you something's wrong. If anything, read this book because it's real. And terrifying. And sad. Read it because it can teach you something. Read it because the next time you see someone with their head hanging low, you have the chance to save their life. All Hannah needed was someone to believe in. She finds it in Clay, but only after she's convinced herself that dying is her only option. Be someone's Clay.

Listen to Hannah's thirteen tapes here.

If you, or anyone you know is thinking or talking about suicide, go here. There's help out there. Don't let what happened to Hannah happen to you or someone you love.

Rating: 4.5/5

288 pages, published by Razorbill (Oct. 18, 2007)